anotherwellkeptsecret:

sherlockholmeson:

benedict-cumberbatch-02

One of the biggest awards surprise Monday night at the Nokia Theatre: Perpetual bridesmaid Sherlock suddenly winning three Emmys, including honors for stars Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman, as well as writer-producer…

edenwolfie:

just-raowolf:

edenwolfie:

my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe

We had to do this and I was partnered with a boy whose parents are a scientist and a doctor. My family spawned the book: Top Drawer Villain - autobiography of a London criminal.
First of all, we had to choose where we would shop. He wanted to buy from Booths. “We are not buying from Booths," I snapped. "Get on Asda’s website right now." His face froze.
“A-Asda?" he whispered. "But that’s where… The Lower Classes shop.”
This was a good start.
We then had to decide on a menu. We started on breakfast. “Toast," he said.
“Toast," I said. "Great. Look, Asda has its own wholemeal—”
“Warburton’s thick-slice white bread. Nothing else. With olive oil.”
“You WHAT?" I choked. "You have olive oil, on your toast, in the morning?”
He frowned. “Who doesn’t?”
“Okay," I said, "but what will the children eat?”
He gaped at me. “The children? We have children?”
We continued. All was well until it came to what we would have on our sandwiches. We even sorted out the children’s lunch - they, of course, would get free school meals. “Yes," he agreed; "if we can’t even afford Bertolli then they can get school meals on the government.”
He asked what dressing we should have on our ham. “Nuh-uh," I said. "Can’t have ham. I’m vegetarian.”
“But I’m not.”
“Yes, but we’re married and we can only afford one sandwich filler so it has to be vege—”
“We’re married!?”
“Of course we’re married! You’re devout Christian - how do you think I convinced you to have children?”
He shook his head, frowning. “Well I want ham. You’ll have to put back the washing powder - I need ham on my sandwiches.”
We continued. Finally, it was dinner. “Okay," he said, clearly thinking hard; "for dinner, we can have… Chicken nuggets and… Beans?”
“Vegetarian.”
“Vegetarian nuggets then. And beans.”
“We need vegetables. The children have to have a balanced diet.”
“You and your children!" he yelled, and the whole class looked around.
“They’re your children too!" I screamed back.
He leapt to his feet, shaking his head and looking distraught. “I don’t believe it - I don’t believe you! I wouldn’t have your children!”
“Please," I cried, standing up also. "Don’t—”
“I want a divorce!”
And he walked out of the classroom.
The teacher stood up and stared between me and the door through which he had vanished. “I’m sorry," I whispered, "but we couldn’t do it any more. There were just too many differences - I can’t live with someone who thinks champagne is a budget.”
I can’t wait to see this guy when he gets to university.

holy shit that’s glorious
cecile-palmer-blog:

cheerfulmetaphysics:

sourcedumal:

starslicer:

tsamthepoet:

I hardly see any heroic posts about Muslims on here, so here you go.

It’s iron fist yall

Good fucking job dude.
#beattheshitouttarapists2k14

I love that it takes the time to specify that his attack of choice was a flying kick

This man deserves all the applause.

straightgirl:

you’d think at 32 years old ryan gosling would be ryan goose by now

funeralhome420:

i hate that i literally cant tell if im ugly or not and i cant tell if im really fat or just like kinda fat i literally cant tell and sometimes ill be like “im just being dumb im pretty good looking” and then ill be like “wow im being so egotistical i definitely look like shit what am i talking about” like i just…. dont know and it bothers me so much cos it’s something i can’t understand 

do-you-have-a-flag:

imagine an episode of night vale where nothing is ominous or strange or conspiracy filled or magic and cecil just reads normal town stuff and the actual traffic and a normal ad from sponsors and the weather is ACTUALLY A WEATHER REPORT and then you hear the door open and two cecils talking and it turns out this entire time it’s just been an owl with the ability to steal people’s voices had hijacked the show and cecil shoos it out the window of the station with a broom

guidetrainlove:

One that maintains a conversation record.YES
FUCKING
PLEASE
dreadelion:


ollies off the surface of the earth